Why Would Anyone Take Anything Ryan Murphy Says Seriously?

UPDATED: Since writing this piece, Murphy gave an interview to Deadline where he spoke about the star "firings" and blamed the media for blowing it out of proportion and the stars themselves for ruining the chances of a future spin-off. He literally used the "take this ball and go home" excuse. In a later interview with Deadline, he also admits to being a bit of a jerk, but one who immediately shows remorse after being a jerk. Right. For reference, I still don't take anything he says seriously. Neither should you.

At Comic-Con last weekend, Glee executive producer Brad Falchuk made waves by announcing Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith were not leaving the show at the end of season three, despite the fact their characters will still graduate. "I don't know where that reporter got that information," he said about the two-week old THR story which claimed the trio was finished. "Just because they're graduating doesn't mean they're leaving the show."

Here's where that reporter got the information: Ryan Murphy.

Closing Time: Friends With Benefits Reviewed

Real talk: the first 20 minutes of Friends With Benefits are so bad that you may entertain thoughts of walking out (we did). Then a funny thing happens: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis have sex. Lots and lots of sex. Yes, it's of the PG-13 variety — the R-rating here extends to fucks and shits, not real nakedness — but those acts of "benefits" open the film up. It's still not a good movie, but in the world of diminished expectations known as Hollywood romantic comedies, Friends With Benefits stands out. Put another way: it's definitely better than No Strings Attached and Something Borrowed. If only those first 20 minutes didn't exist.

We Don't Need Another Hero, But, Hey: Captain America Reviewed

In the annals of Marvel burritos, Captain America: The First Avenger is one of the better ones. Which isn't saying all that much, of course — eating a good meal at Qdoba is still impeded by the fact that it's occurring at Qdoba — but there is a throwback joy to much of the first hour of Captain America that makes it work as well as anything Jon Favreau accomplished with Iron Man. Then there's the rest of the film, which is a mess of jingoistic montages, shoddy action scenes, and forced climaxes. Captain America is slightly better than Thor, and includes a very downcast (for a Marvel property) finale, but it's held back by the limitations of the genre, and Marvel itself. Thank goodness, then, for Chris Evans and Hayley Atwell, who do the movie version of falling on the ball.

The Silliest Quote About Community This Week

It has been a while since we've heard from Community creator Dan Harmon. Check that; it has been six weeks since we've heard from Community creator Dan Harmon, a guy for whom giving interviews is akin to paying rent. In his latest interview, Harmon chatted with Joe Adalian from Vulture about the third season of the show and what fans can expect. It's a pretty basic discussion — the kind of thing any number of showrunners do in the lead-up to their television series — but, once again, Harmon seems totally tone-deaf and/or willfully ignorant about his show and his own words. At this point, the question must be asked: is Dan Harmon's interview persona nothing more than an Andy Kaufman-esque stunt?

A Midsummer Night's Running Diary: The 82nd All-Star Game

Live from apartment 1R in Astoria, NY, it's the fourth annual 42 Inch Television MLB All-Star Game Non-Liveblog! (That sound you just heard was Kase banging her head into the wall.) It's a tradition unlike any other here at the homebase — a time to write about the least important baseball game of the summer. Non-Los Angeles Dodgers edition. (SFX: Rimshot!) In honor of the good writer formerly known as Bill Simmons, here's a running diary of the 82nd Midsummer Classic.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Reviewed

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is five hours too long. There is more character development for the giant killer robots than there is for the flesh-and-blood humans. The soundtrack features songs from Staind and Paramore. Ken Jeong gets ten minutes in the middle of the interminable second act to play "Ken Jeong." Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is introduced with her ass, spends the movie playing damsal in distress, and runs through the final hour-long battle wearing high heels. The script is gloriously stupid and doesn't even seem to make sense.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is awesome.