Blogs Are Out, But People Are Texting Each Other 'No More Animals': NBC Thursday Night Comedies Recapped

Despite the fact that there was snow on the ground this morning, spring has sprung. What does that mean for us, the loyal NBC Thursday night comedy watchers (non-Outsourced and Perfect Couples division)? Well, it means that soon we won't have Community to kick around anymore; there are four episodes remaining in the sophomore season of the one-time Arrested Development heir, and now is the time for things to heat up at Greendale. Or not. Let's get to the recapping.

Today in Stupidity: If You Hate Luis Castillo, You're a Racist

Far be it from me to criticize another writer with taunts of "How does this guy have a job?!" — longtime fans will remember pretentious douche bag Mark Asch (hello, Mark if you're reading this in your Google alert email!), who wondered why the Observer paid me to write, when I dared to question critical elite like A.O. Scott and Roger Ebert two summers ago — but at the risk of losing some self-awareness: How does Andy Martino have a job?!

Martino — the New York Mets beat reporter who runs the "Surfing the Mets" blog for the New York Daily News — decided Friday would be the perfect time to publish a post about how Mets fans don't like Luis Castillo because of his race. This column exists. It happened. I know, I can hardly believe it either.

That's Some White Nonsense: NBC Thursday Night Comedies Recapped

Welcome back to some regularly scheduled recapping! Three weeks have elapsed since NBC last aired its Thursday night lineup, and much has happened in the downtime. For instance, all of our favorites were renewed for future seasons! Hooray! Though considering NBC has no programming — anyone trying to tell you otherwise is immediately suspect; see The Event, The Cape, Outsourced, etc. — it isn't very surprising that bubble series like Parks and Recreation and Community didn't pop. Still, this is NBC we're talking about, so anything was possible. I'm happy that this lineup of comedy will keep me laughing well into 2012, if only because what the hell else am I supposed to watch? Television sucks lately! That's a blog for another day, however; for now, let's recap like we've never recapped before.

Look at Me, Duh: The Charlie Sheen Soundboard You've Been Waiting For Has Arrived

If there's one positive thing about domestic abuser Charlie Sheen getting so much media coverage of late — no truth to the rumor that NBC reporter Jeff Rossen has actually moved into Sober Valley Lodge; that I know Sheen calls his home that is a problem, FYI — it's that the man is a walking soundbite. Quite literally at this point — it seems like Ma-Sheen could construct whole sentences using only "winning," "tiger blood," "goddesses," and "duh."

In honor of that, I was asked to help out together a Charlie Sheen Soundboard for Complex Magazine. Click ahead for the fun, but be forewarned: You're likely to waste quite a bit of time on this thing.

The Wit & Wisdom of Gossip Girl: Tell That Son of a Bitch Where He Can Stick It

You have to give Josh Schwartz credit: He structures his television shows like films, which means you basically get three season finales for the price of one. That's a double-edged sword, though, if only because too much of the season is devoted to the lead into the "finales," but whatever! An episode like "Empire of the Son" is almost worth the squeeze. After all: OMGDAIR!