He Who Will Save Us All: The Season Five Finale of Lost Recapped

"I have loved Jacob, but Esau I have hated" - Malachi 1:2-3

I guess after a season of fits and starts, my expectations that the season finale of Lost would be downright amazing were a little unwarranted. Silly me: I believed the hype; especially after reading dozens of interviews with Michael Emerson, wherein my favorite actor said "The Incident" would make viewers want to eat their own souls. Make no mistake though, this episode was a pretty huge letdown. At turns laborious and confounding, Lost is now on a path that I literally don't like all that much. If you thought an entire season of time travel was lame, wait until season six goes biblical. Because based on what we were shown in "The Incident", that's where things are headed.

As shown in the pre-L O S T sequence--the episode's best moment, p.s.--it appears that Jacob and his companion (Titus Welliver from Gone Baby Gone) are basically "Jacob and Esau" from the Bible. While not God and the Devil, Jacob and his friend are clearly established as "good" and "evil"--you'll note the black and white clothing--and their conversation makes them seem like immortal versions of Randolph and Mortimer Duke from Trading Places. It turns out they're using the Island--which I guess is some form of Eden--as a gigantic sociological experiment. Witness the dialogue over impending arrival of The Black Rock, which is seen in the distance:

"Esau": "You brought them here. Still trying to prove me wrong, aren't you?"
Jacob: "You are wrong."
"Esau": "Am I? They come, fight, they destroy they corrupt. It always ends the same."
Jacob: "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress."

So basically, Lost is one giant pissing match between two characters we've never met and don't care about--though, to be fair, this twist was referenced all the way back in "Expose" when Hurley found out that Mr. LaShade was the bad guy in Nikki's television show. And I guess that's cool: since Fringe is busy doing alternate universes, they couldn't go that route; the time travel thing has been a bust; and it was never purgatory... so why not Eden?

Unfortunately though, it means so much of what we've seen has been a cheat. "Jacob's Cabin" was really the home of "Esau," who, in turn used the visages of Christian, Claire and The Smoke Monster to manipulate Locke into doing his bidding, knowing full well that he'd eventually use Locke's image to go and kill Jacob.

(This explains why Locke said the Smoke Monster was "beautiful" in season one while everyone else said it was a horrible, well, monster; this explains why "Jacob" told Locke to "help me"--it wasn't Jacob at all, but "Esau" trying to get face-to-face with his lifelong adversary.)

Based on that, John Locke, the man of faith whom we've been invested for five seasons, is nothing more than Lee Harvey Oswald: he's a patsy. He was never special, never chosen. The Island didn't have grand plans for him. He was forever being used in a centuries-old plot to extract revenge. And, I don't know--maybe I'm crazy--but that just seems like a big ol' waste of time for us audience members.

What we're left with going forward is this: Jacob made sure the members of Flight 815--our heroes--made it back to the Island, presumably so they could save him from being killed by "Esau Locke"/Ben, while simultaneously hoping to prove that humanity is, indeed, "good". Meanwhile, "Esau" used Locke for nearly the entire run of the series just to make sure he could kill Jacob. Of course, I could be wrong about all this; but really, it seems to be the direction they're heading. And if I know Lost, the man of science/man of faith debate will rage on during season six between an "Esau" inhabited Locke and a "Jacob" inhabited Jack. (Just please, don't let Jacob reincarnate himself in Locke's dead corpse lying outside the statue.)

Is everyone okay with the idea that the entire series is basically just a living chess match between two immortals who we've never seen before? This isn't as bad as a snow globe ending, but it's kinda close.

Here's the thing: if the series ends up being biblical, then all this time travel stuff was a big waste; a pointless diversion to stretch things out further than they needed. And while Locke did see the Smoke Monster in season one, and, in theory, has been manipulated from the start--meaning that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse had some clue what they wanted to do with the show--this just feels thrown together. Like a bunch of dudes were sitting in a room trying to come up with something cool and thought of their freshman year theology class.

By this time next year we'll have our final answers, but right now, I don't think I've ever been more down on Lost. If I wanted to re-watch The Stand, I would have.

Anyway, onto the lightning round! Spoilers!

1.) Jacob appearing to our heroes throughout various points in their lives was totally lame. Personally, I hate that kind of revisionist history--it ruins what we've already established about the characters (see: "Cabin Fever" from Season Four). Though, to be fair, he really didn't do anything that memorable to any of them, except, of course, touch them--he even brought a very dead Locke back to life. What does Jacob's touch mean for Kate, Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Sayid and Locke?

1a.) Speaking of Jacob: I don't think I can stress how much I loved the pre-L O S T sequence. For reference: Jacob lies in the shadow of the statue. Or, as Richard would say later--in Latin--"He who will save us all" lies there. Awesome.

1b.) I loved how Messrs. Cuse and Lindelof handled the "what's in the box?" reveal too. That was fantastic. And I'll forgive them for ending two seasons in a row with John Locke being in said box, just because it works time and again. Poor Terry O'Quinn: all that effort he put into being Locke is now wasted, since he'll probably spend all of next season acting like "Not Locke". That is, of course, unless the Hydrogen bomb wiped everything clean.

2.) I have to talk about Juliet's death: first of all, it was totally predictable (especially true since Elizabeth Mitchell is signed on for ABC's episodic version of V). Worse though was how it they handled it; I'm more than prone to tearing up while watching Lost--Michael Giacchino's score always has something to do with this--but the big emotional moment with Sawyer was fairly emotionless. Ms. Mitchell and Josh Holloway were particularly bad during the scene and they didn't get any favors by the surroundings. While we were supposed to feel like Juliet was dangling above a bottomless pit, holding on for dear life, the way it was shot made me feel like Ms. Mitchell was just lying in a ditch. The stakes weren't there. And Mr. Holloway's "Sean Penn in Mystic River"-type screaming didn't do the scene any favors either. I don't think I've ever been more unmoved by a death on Lost. And I love Juliet. Bad job.

2a.) Worse was the final moment: the reveal that Juliet somehow survived that epic fall, wasn't paralyzed, and, was able to get together enough strength to smash the non-exploded Hydrogen bomb with a Styrofoam rock, was incredibly stupid. Horrible doesn't even begin to describe it: the last scene felt cheap both emotionally and technically. Ms. Mitchell, don't bother putting that on your Emmy reel.

3.) And that leads us to the cliffhanger finish: fade to white. I didn't actively hate this, but I'm tempted to say "cliffhanger fail." The good thing about ending this way is that Messrs. Lindelof and Cuse can do whatever they want for Season Six. Reset the series? Sure, let's do it! Have nothing happen? Awesome, I love it! Fire [insert actor here] because they're a big douche? Sweet, we can say they died in the explosion! There are no promises here and I like that.

3a.) That being said: I assume Sayid is going to die. For too long he's had nothing to do and I had him pegged as one of the regulars who was going to kick the bucket this season. Poor Naveen Andrews. On another series, he'd be the star; on Lost, he's the Iraqi soldier who knows intimate details of how to dismantle a Hydrogen bomb and has extra big gloves at his disposal to do so. (File that under convenient.)

4.) Rose and Bernard! While the idea that they were hiding out in the jungle (in plain sight) for three years is a little tough to take, I thought their deus ex machina-like return was pretty sweet. And I'm convinced now, more than ever, that they're the "Adam and Eve" skeletons. Though since the Island might be Eden, those skeletons could really be Adam and Eve. Twist!

5.) While the shootout at the Swan was totally absurd and ridiculous--is everyone f'n John Wayne now?--I loved how they built up Jack dropping the bomb down the hole and gave everyone these teary glanced goodbyes... only to have nothing happen. Could that have been a better result for Jack? The man is an impotent failure. I literally could not love him more.

5a.) Another great thing about the Swan scenes: the death of Phil. Though I wish they could have cut his head off, Highlander-style. A spear through the chest seemed a bit tame for my tastes.

6.) If that's all the backstory we get for why Hurley decided to go back to the Island, I'll be straight up pissed off. Get worse, guys. And we were told the Numbers were going to be explained during this finale, weren't we? Maybe their explanation will end up on the DVD.

6a.) My favorite moment of the finale belonged to Miles: asking our heroes whether any of them had realized that by detonating the Hydrogen bomb, Jack might very well be causing the Incident, was straight up hilarious. Also: literally none of them thought of that?! If the fate of the human race rests with these yahoos, we're all in trouble.

Next season: The final countdown begins! Some questions: Where is Claire? Is Baby Aaron going to end up being Jacob reborn? Will the Losties band together to stop "Esau Locke"? Does Ben get punished for killing Jacob? Along those lines: Will Michael Emerson learn how to stab someone without looking like a spaz? Does Sun finding Charlie's ring mean that he'll actually factor into season six? (Please!) Will Walt's dream about Locke on a beach, surrounded by people trying to kill him, come true? Will Walt return? Who will Kate choose now that Juliet is dead and we have a love triangle once again? Will Sun and Jin be reunited? Does Desmond have anything left to do with this show? And, most important, will Lost get back to the basic storytelling that made the series so great for four seasons?

Stay tuned.