Thoughtsicles: The Office & 30 Rock Recapped

Thanks to the fact that literally every single show I watch, in addition to two of my fantasy baseball starters, aired simultaneously last night, there is no way I could find enough time to write about everything.

Of course my beloved LOST got the full-post treatment below. But 30 Rock and The Office can't possibly get such wordy recaps. So in honor of Tracy Jordan, the man who not only coined the term "mind grapes," but also last night's "thoughtsicles," here are my two favorite moments from each.

The Rules of the Game: Lost Recapped

Before I dive into tonight's not-very-surprising yet impeccably excellent episode of LOST, I need to address the ABC Television Network.

Hey guys, you suck at this. Let me give you my impression of the network executives at ABC: "Here's a good idea, let's put LOST on at 10PM on Thursday night! And we'll use Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty as a lead-in. It's going to be awesome!"

Kids: Behind the Scenes of Gossip Girl

This has turned into a noteworthy week for television. LOST and Grey's Anatomy both come back after what seem like limitless absences.

30 Rock finally switches to the more family un-friendly hour of 9:30 (I guess NBC realized that jokes about double-teaming girls don't actually make a person think, "my kids should be watching this!")

President Bush appeared on Deal or No Deal and actually managed to embarrass himself less than Presidential candidates Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain did on their "hilarious" guest spots on WWE Raw or whatever-the-hell it's called (sample joke: John McCain calling his supporters "McCain-iacs.")

But of course, the biggest news in the world of television can be summed up in four simple words: Gossip Girl is back!

My Fellow Blackmericans: 30 Rock Recapped

This is going to sound ridiculous.

I know that.

I know you are going to read this and think, "wow, 42 Inch Television has lost his mind."

And you know what? Maybe you're right.

The best written character on 30 Rock isn't Alec Baldwin's caustically Republican Jack Donaghy. It isn't Tracy Morgan's batty Tracy Jordan. It isn't even Tina Fey's unbelievably and adorably funny Liz Lemon.

No, it's Dean Winters' Dennis Duffy.

Woman Under the Influence: Jan Makes The Office Wonderfully Twisted

In the end, maybe the WGA Strike wasn't such a bad thing.

If tonight's episode of The Office is any indication, the work stoppage might have been just what the show needed to get back to it's former heights of excellence. Because make no mistake about it, tonight's episode was the best of the fourth season.

By a lot.

Missed Opportunity: ABC Screwed the Pooch with Miss Guided

Let's do a little role playing for a second. Pretend you're ABC. Yes, the network. Ok, so you've had great success over the last decade creating interesting hour-long television series that seem to thrive at the water cooler. I'm talking LOST, Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy. These are the types of shows that other networks only wish they had thought of. Ben Silverman literally stays up at night trying to come up with stuff this good for NBC ("We'll do a remake of CHiPS but this time the motorcycles will talk!!!")