Saturday, December 13, 2008

They Are Golden Gods: Predicting the Golden Globe Winners

Ahh, the wacky Golden Globes. How I've missed you! Last year we were all deprived of their meaningless ridiculousness when the WGA Strike napalmed Hollywood for a few months. And while there wasn't a big difference between seeing Billy Bush call out the winner's instead of a drunk Hollywood star, it just didn't feel the same. Thankfully, there is nothing in the way of the awards show this year; the winners get announced on January 11th.

While you mark the days off on the calendar until the show arrives, here are some early predictions!

Best Supporting Actor: Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Denis Leary, Recount; Jeremy Piven, Entourage; Blair Underwood, In Treatment; Tom Wilkinson, John Adams

Who should win:
I've said it before and I'll say it again: How I Met Your Mother is a show I should watch. Sadly, since it's up against both Gossip Girl and Chuck on Monday nights, I never even think of putting it on. But I know it's out there, and any time I've seen it, I love it. Saying Neil Patrick Harris is great on the show is like saying the sun rises. But yeah, who cares? Give him the award!

Who will win: To figure out the winner, let's go to Mr. Harris himself for comment on the category: "I'm deeply honored and excited by the nomination. And, call me crazy, but I'd like to think I have a real shot at taking home--Wait, Piven's not in this category, is he? Crap."

Best Supporting Actress: Eileen Atkins, Cranford; Laura Dern, Recount; Melissa George, In Treatment; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers and Sisters; Dianne Wiest, In Treatment

Who should win:
Does this category get anyone excited? Woof! The only performance here that I'm even familiar with is Laura Dern's, and she was actually pretty excellent as Katherine Harris in Recount. Hopefully she wins.

Who will win: I've never even heard of Eileen Atkins, but I assume Cranford is some fancy BBC miniseries that the Hollywood Foreign Press loves.

Best Actor (Comedy): Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Steve Carell, The Office; Kevin Connolly, Entourage; David Duchovny, Californication; Tony Shalhoub, Monk

Who should win:
Honestly? As much as I love Alec Baldwin (forever brilliant) and Steve Carell (a white daisy amidst the muddy mess that The Office has become), I really want Kevin Connolly to win. And he deserves to win. We all expect Mr. Baldwin and Mr. Carell to be brilliant; we don't expect anything from Mr. Connolly. As I mentioned before, this season of Entourage was great and the major reason for that greatness was Mr. Connolly's Eric.

Who will win: Not Kevin Connolly, that's for sure! Since the least worthy and most un-sexy candidate here is Tony Shalhoub, he will take home the trophy.

Best Actress (Comedy): Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?; America Ferrera, Ugly Betty; Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Debra Messing, The Starter Wife; Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

Who should win:
Lost in the shuffle of the Tina Fey Revolution that America has experienced during the latter part of 2008 is that Ms. Fey is actually a great comedic straight-woman. She is! (And I'm not saying that because I have a crush on her.)

Who will win: Even the Globes can't screw this up: all hail Tina Fey!

Best Actor (Drama): Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment; Michael C. Hall, Dexter; Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Hugh Laurie, House; Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, The Tudors

Who should win:
Jon Hamm won this category for Mad Men last year, and since he was even better in season two, logically he should win again this year. Mr. Hamm has perfected the morally ambivalent blank stare and he's so subtle that, at times, you might think he's sleepwalking. This type of acting doesn't ever lend itself to awards, but in Mr. Hamm's case, thus far that hasn't mattered.

Who will win: The thing about the Golden Globes is that they love to honor first year series' (hence the Mad Men love last year). The flavor of the month for them in 2008 was clearly In Treatment. HBO's little watched show received a boatload of nominations, including one here for Gabriel Byrne. Mr. Hamm will sadly go home empty handed.

Best Actress (Drama): Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters; Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit; January Jones, Mad Men; Anna Paquin, True Blood, Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

Who should win: I'm obviously partial to Mad Men, but who cares! January Jones was outstanding this year, leaps and bounds ahead of her performance in season one. Ms. Jones combined equal parts of Carmela Soprano and Grace Kelly to create a full fledged woman under the influence. Her season finale tryst with Captain Awesome from Chuck was her high point. Give this lady some recognition!

Who will win: Despite the Globes' predilection for liking first-year series, we can't imagine Anna Paquin winning for True Blood. That leaves Ms. Jones, as a first time nominee, with the inside edge over the other three deserving candidates. We can't imagine the Globes will pass up a chance to have her walk up on stage.

Best Comedy Series: 30 Rock; Californication; Entourage; The Office; Weeds

Who should win:
Clearly 30 Rock. Now that we've got that out of the way, I need to rant about this Weeds nomination. Seriously? Weeds? Outside of Mary-Louise Parker's outstanding nudity, the most recent season was beyond the pale. The show is terrible! I fell asleep during most of the episodes. I can't even express in sentences how much I hated this year, so I'll resort to a few words: grating, contrived, forced, atrocious, infuriating, bland, unfunny.

Who will win: If 30 Rock is good enough to win an Emmy, you better believe it'll win a Golden Globe.

Best Drama Series: Dexter; House; In Treatment; Mad Men; True Blood

Who should win
: Mad Men is one of the five best shows on television. The others are not.

Who will win: I smell an upset; logic dictates that Mad Men is the winner, but since this is the Golden Globes, logic goes out the window. True Blood could win in an upset, but I think the hardware goes to In Treatment. For the thirty-two people who watch that show, January 11th will be a great night.

The Golden Globes air Sunday, January 11th, on NBC

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