Hey, I Remember That Show?!: Grey's Anatomy

Is there such a thing as April Sweeps? Because, for at least 2008, there should be. April is the busiest month of the year. Baseball begins. College Basketball ends. The Masters happens. And every single major scripted television show will return to air with new episodes.

The problem? We haven't seen new episodes of those shows since forever. Characters that we spend every week with for months have been largely forgotten about; cliffhangers and set-ups are distant memories.

Well, don't worry. I'm making it my business to remind you of what's happened. Allow me to present to you Hey, I Remember That Show?! Earlier this week, I took a look at The Office. Now it's time for another Thursday night extravaganza: Grey's Anatomy.

Remaining Episodes: 5

Returns: April 24th, 9PM

The Season Thus Far: I like Grey's Anatomy. But I don't really know why. I don't think I've ever watched a show with more people on it that I actively dislike. I hate at least half the characters on the show to the point that if I saw the actors walking down the street, I'd probably attempt to elbow them as they passed me by.

The fourth season of Grey's was painted into an almost impossible corner after a clown car'd third season and much of the year had to be spent picking up the pieces. George (T.R. Knight, playing "believable heterosexual" as if he went to the Dr. Tobias Funke School of Acting) broke up with Callie (Sara Ramirez, I hate you) after he hooked up with Izzie (Katherine Heigl, I love you.) Then he broke up with Izzie. Then he told Bailey (Chandra Wilson, the best part of the show) that he would be a better man. Whatever.

Speaking of Bailey, she had a rough year. Her kid ended up in the ER because of the negligence of her stupid husband, who picked that opportunity to ask for a divorce. Um, hey dude, don't you remember that Bailey SAVED YOUR F'N LIFE a couple of seasons ago? And don't you notice that she's the only person in your family who works? Christ. On a show full of douchebags, Bailey's husband takes the cake. Even Bailey's newborn seemed to contribute more to the family household than that dude.

On the Meredith and McDreamy front--wait, tell me if you've heard this before--he wants to marry her, she can't commit, so then he decides to make out with a nurse. I think they're broken up, but I can't even be sure. Nor do I care. A few weeks ago Shonda Rhimes stated that her goal is to make sure Meredith and Derrick get together "for good." You know it's bad when the consummation of the core relationship to the show is seen more as a threat than as something exciting and positive.

What now?: As I said, I like Grey's almost despite itself. It's pure cheap melodrama, ER by way of Guiding Light. And it completely relies on it's singer-song writer fueled music montages to illicit emotions from viewers. They are to Grey's what jump scares are to schlock horror movies. You know you shouldn't be feeling something because it's so cheap and forced, but you can't help it. The show somehow works enough to where I find myself enjoying it.

For all her faults writing characters, Shonda Rhimes continually writes herself interesting situations. I like that Alex (Justin Chambers, workmanly excellent) seems to have a bond with Meredith's sister Lexi (Chyler Leigh, I love you). I like that Bailey's life is falling apart. I like the ridiculous medical situations that the doctors are thrown into. The show isn't a total lost cause. But it needs some re-jiggering.

A big problem with Season Four has been the total lack of male/female balance. Grey's never replaced Isaiah Washington's Preston Burke and that is a huge problem. It's not just that Burke was a great character, it was that he at least evened out the relationships. He was there for Cristina (Sandra Oh, I literally hate your f'n guts because of how much I hate Cristina.) Now, you've got Meredith and McDreamy and that's it. The lack of a male romantic interest for Cristina has been almost detrimental. Plus, seeing Cristina in a relationship helped soften her horrendously hard edges. Hell, the lack of male characters has been a problem for everyone. I think that's the real reason that Shonda Rhimes decided to have George hook up with Izzie while married to Callie. And I'm sure that is why Alex is juggling three different girls at the same time (Izzie, No Face and Lexi.) Seriously, who else are these girls supposed to hook up with? The Chief? McSteamy? McLovin?

I know before the strike, there were reports of Joshua Jackson coming on as a love interest for Cristina. Good. Do it. Lock him up. He looks like a young Patrick Dempsey anyway, so why not throw him on the show? If not him, then find someone else. Grey's really needs another two male characters to make it work.

The other casting need is to find another Addison. Kate Walsh was lovable. Plain and simple. And removing her and leaving Annoying Meredith, The C-Word Sisters of Callie and Cristina and Wishy-Washy Izzie and Lexi is not a wise decision. Sure Bailey is great, but she can't carry the show on her small, but incredibly sturdy shoulders. Ideally, Addison would just come back to Seattle Grace. Her show sucks anyway.

But that probably is a pipe dream. For now, we're left with five episodes of Grey's Anatomy Season Four. Five episodes of navel gazing voice over, heart string tugging music montages and pure annoyance. Five episodes that I'll hate myself for enjoying, but I'll enjoy none-the-less.

Welcome back to Seattle Grace.